Yeah, we didn’t get independence and I’ll not lie, I am a bit gutted.
But events on Friday took a bit of a turn for me, my mother was rushed I to hospital with severe breathing difficulties so any sadness I was originally feeling was quickly replaced with worry.
Anyone who knows me knows I don’t get along with my mother at all. We have clashed ever since I was little and has become far more nasty as we both got older. But I couldn’t just ignore the fact she was in a very bad way so naturally I headed to the hospital to check out what was happening.
She looks dreadful. She hasn’t been eating for 3 weeks, her teeth have been falling out and her breathing was painfully strained. She honestly looks like she was dying. The doctor wasn’t for believing she was 69 and asked me if I was her grand daughter and how old she REALLY was. Kinda embarrassing on her behalf. And the worst part has been I have been trying to contact her, but with no joy. She does this from time to time, everyone is her enemy and noone will give her sympathy so she ignores the world.
So far they have drained fluid that was gathering in her left lung, which was on the verge of collapsing as well as checking for heart issues, they think she may have suffered a small heart attack on the Friday night. She’s really frail and gaunt but she is on a steroid drop to boost her appetite and general well being.
She is on the mend, but it’s going to be a slow process where she will need to swallow her pride and accept help.
I’ve been there pretty much constantly, as well as gutting and cleaning her filthy house. She smokes something close to 40 a day, so washing nicotine out of everything has been a trying task but I got there eventually.
I’m exhausted, but she is family and I have to remember this. All I really want is to curl up and sleep for a few days but it’s not going to happen, I’ll put up and shut up. With the occasional grumble on here, of course.
Just had to spill my head, it’s been a crazy few days and I just need to slow down and relax.